Your Narc Boss Just Set Another "Urgent" Deadline That's Impossible to Meet

This is an essay by Fahim Chughati, a relationship coach with a focus on helping people recover from toxic narcissist relationships and reclaim their life. He is the author of Narcissism Exposed, a popular blog in the psychological-help community on Substack.

The clock is ticking. Again.

Your narc boss appears at your desk with that familiar predatory smile: "I need the quarterly analysis, budget projections, and client presentation ready for the executive meeting. This is absolutely critical."

You know this "critical" meeting has been on the calendar for weeks. You know they've had the data sitting on their desk, untouched. But here you are, watching your life get hijacked once more.

This is your reality, isn't it?

My client Marcus sent me a desperate voice message: "Fahim, she's doing it again. She handed me a project that normally takes two weeks and wants it done in three days. When I said it wasn't realistic, she looked at me like I was pathetic and said 'high performers find a way.' I'm working myself into the ground and I STILL can't make it happen. She's setting me up to fail on purpose, isn't she?"

Marcus, you're absolutely right. And you're not crazy.

Here's what's really happening: Your narc boss isn't trying to get work done efficiently. They're running a psychological experiment on your breaking point.

The Sadistic Truth Behind Impossible Deadlines

Your narc boss doesn't give a damn if you complete the project on time. They're betting on you failing.

Watch this sick game play out:

If you sacrifice everything and deliver subpar work: "This quality is unacceptable. I expected much better from someone in your position."

If you deliver perfection but miss their insane timeline: "I can't depend on you for anything important. Other people don't have these excuses."

If you push back with reasonable timelines: "You're being difficult. Maybe this role is too challenging for you."

Every single path leads to the same destination: You're wrong. You're inadequate. You're the problem.

This isn't about productivity. This is about breaking your spirit so thoroughly that you'll accept any abuse they dish out.

How They Turn Your Strengths Into Weapons Against You

Here's the sick genius of this tactic - they use your competence to destroy you.

You think: "If I just work smarter, push harder, sleep less, I can prove myself."

They think: "Perfect. Look at them burning out trying to achieve the impossible. Soon they'll be too exhausted to question my authority."

The most devastating part? You start believing their narrative.

"Maybe I really am slower than other people." "Maybe I should be able to handle this level of pressure." "Maybe I'm just making excuses."

Meanwhile, they're already planning your next impossible task, watching you spiral.

The Escalation Trap You Don't See Coming

It starts small. A tight deadline that makes you sweat but you pull it off.

Then it gets tighter. You work overtime but manage to deliver.

Then it becomes unrealistic. You sacrifice your weekends but somehow make it happen.

Then it becomes impossible. You work around the clock and still fail publicly.

Each "success" raises their expectations. Each failure gives them ammunition to destroy your reputation.

The end goal? You either break completely and quit (saving them from having to fire you), or you become so beaten down that you'll accept any treatment without fighting back.

Why You Keep Falling For It

Normal people don't expect their boss to systematically sabotage them. Your brain isn't wired to defend against someone who weaponizes work assignments.

You keep thinking: "This must be a test. If I can just prove myself this one time..."

There is no "proving yourself" to a narcissist. There's only feeding their need to watch you struggle.

Your Narc Boss Is Planning Right Now

While you're reading this, they're already thinking about your next impossible assignment.

The question isn't whether it's coming. The question is whether you'll be ready.

Will you have professional scripts and boundary strategies, or will you be scrambling to explain why you couldn't perform miracles again?

The next impossible deadline is coming. Don't face it defenseless.

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